angel cowboy

during Christmas time a friend of mine sent me an e-mail that truely touched my heart. i heard it again today and i think i cried more than i did before. it lifted my spirits and reminds me of the sacrifice that not only Jesus made for us, but the sacrifice that god made for us as well. during the holidays i thought it was going to be rough with our 2nd miscarriage, but again i was reminded of the true meaning of christmas and this video came at a perfect time. i was angry and couldn't understand why god took away another child. i'm not so much angry anymore and i may never understand his reasoning's, but i know that my father in heaven loves me and will always take care of me. the first time we lost the baby was hard,but my faith carried me on. i never once questioned him... i just accepted it and knew that he had his reasons. the 2nd time was harder. maybe it was b/c i heard my baby's precious heart beat, and had more of an emotional connection with the baby so this time it's a little harder. but again i know that god's plans aren't to intentionally hurt me. his plans are made for so many reasons greater than i'll ever know. he feels my pain and i have to trust in him to take it away. i have to keep and build my faith to be even stronger than before. not only for me but for my family as well. i have two beautiful kids and such an amazing husband... i've been more than blessed:) don't think for one sec. that we've given up on having more kids b/c we haven't. we're just gonna wait for life to let us know when. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that there will plenty of times when we may feel like we are at our lowest, but that's when he have to turn to the lord even more. that's when we have to put all our trust in him and let him in. he lost his only son, he understands the pain. he will give us the strength to move on... if we let him.